Waking up crying

I wake up crying because i dont want to live yet another day.

it sickens me.

not because of what i have or dont have to do.

just because i have to be alive yet another day.

and the more i cry every day, the less i want to live.

i’ll never get out of this loop.

i just want to die

Crying

Everyday i cry
for the things i’ve lost
for the things i dont do anymore
for the things i dont have anymore
and that i miss
as if they were part of me
my identity.
i dont know who am i anymore,
what i want,
and even less how to achieve it.
my life got emptied of everything.
things, acts, meaning, sense, value.
now i have Life, but emptied of everything.
i have re-found parts, people,
but they’re external from me.
me as me is lost.
and it hurts to death
and i cant even say it or scream it anymore.
i went lost. and i’m alone.